And here we have a fish

Today was the first day of the thirty day writing challenge where I utterly failed to get any writing done. Well, until now. You see, I'm starting this at 10pm. I have just finished with the dress rehearsal of a variety show I'm performing in at my church. (The shows are Friday May 20 and Saturday May 21, at 7:30pm in the recreation & outreach center [ROC] at Centreville UMC, if you're interested.) Today I failed to overcome the resistance to writing, but it nagged at me all day and all evening. My wife is downstairs in the sanctuary registering a piece for this Sunday and I snuck up to her computer to do a little writing about not writing. Clever, eh?

I have a myriad of excuses, but really the best excuse I have is that I spent much of this afternoon doing the research I need for my next piece. I will have to write it first thing in the morning, because it will be the first piece I choose for editing. I have a number of things I need to write about, but many aren't the things I want to write about. This, I think, is part of the resistance I feel.

I believe I am what is classically defined as a procrastinator. I work best under pressure, and work well by responding to interruptions. It is a terribly unproductive and horribly stressful way to live. And yet, it is what I continue to do, day in and day out. I have tried to overcome my procrastination by scheduling time in my calendar to accomplish specific tasks, and then to not do that. To follow the Getting Things Done method, only to fall out of the habit. (By the way, reaching Inbox Zero is a fantastic feeling. My plan for this week was to get there. I think instead my inbox doubled in size in the last week.) I have tried to use the Pomodoro Technique as a way to brute-force myself into accomplishing things, but too often I let something interrupt me.

I should change. I need to change. And yet, there is a part of me that just falls into the comfortable, the predictable. Excuses come easily. "I've got that show this weekend." "My kitchen is under construction and our house is a wreck." "I haven't been able to spend enough time with the kids." They're just excuses, though. The real reason is that change is hard. Change does not come easy. A friend of ours always likes to say "change is bad!" whenever faced with a difficult situation. I don't think change is bad, and yet I am very resistant to it.

There's that word again, resistance. Resistance is a powerful force. Resistance is why we have high-voltage transmission lines, to minimize the amount of electricity wasted before it even gets to our house and lets us waste it. Without resistance we couldn't walk along the ground. (We'd only moonwalk, which would be pretty cool I guess.) Resistance keeps stuff from moving around when you don't expect it to. Resistance creates bacteria that aren't susceptible to common antibiotics, causing life-threatening infections. Resistance is futile.

Oh, wait. Resistance isn't futile. Isn't that what Captain Picard and the rest of the Star Trek folks taught us? Resistance can be overcome. It may be difficult, it may be ugly, but overcoming it is necessary to get work done. (Even in physics! Work = force · displacement, and you can't move something without overcoming the resistance to do it.)

So here I am, four days into this challenge, and I have written four substantial things - the last two of which were personal and focused on my need to change... and I haven't even gotten to my diet and exercise post yet.

And yet, I keep writing. Writing has been very therapeutic for me, I am sure of that. It will soon be time to turn that energy around to helping others and not just focusing it all internally.

Now, since you're undoubtedly dying to know, some information about why I chose this title for this blog post. Michael sent me (and the others participating in this challenge) an article the other day about the importance of choosing a title for your blog headline. Well, the title I chose tonight breaks pretty much every rule in that article. It has nothing to do with anything. And that's why I chose it.

The title actually has a funny story behind it. My wife took a class one year in college that was so dreadfully boring, she sometimes fell asleep during it. (I have never been mistaken for a narcoleptic. She, on the other hand can fall asleep at the drop of a hat.) In order to force herself to stay awake, she would furiously take notes during the class about everything that was said, and when nothing was being said, she would take notes about whatever was on her mind. It helped her stay awake. Usually. Well, this one time she actually wrote down part of a dream she had during a moment of semi-consciousness right before she fell asleep. Upon awaking, she read the words "and here we have a fish" and had no idea where they had come from, although they were in her handwriting.

My life is filled with tons of these wonderfully silly non-sequiturs. They might make an amusing coffee table book. (Although perhaps not the most amusing one.) Until next time, I'll keep overcoming my resistance and getting some writing done...